The Best Day at Work


  • Get a seat on the train
  • Ride the elevator by yourself
  • Clock in early
  • Have no urgent/weird/WTF emails upon arrival
  • Be left alone for the better part of the day
  • But commiserate (read: complain) with a co-worker
  • Relieve yourself in an empty bathroom. Every time.
  • Take lunch during a non-busy time, preferably with a friend
  • Treat yourself to Starbucks in your building when there are 0-3 people in line
  • Peruse The Guardian and New York Times because these seem like legitimate news sources that some how seeem defensible if they are monitoring your computer activities which they very well could be right at this moment but so far no one has said anything so I guess it’s fine.
  • Clock out at 4:54 because you clocked in early
  • Get a seat on the train

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