“Runaway Bride” is not a good movie.
However, there is something to be said about losing yourself in a relationship.
After Julia Roberts character makes a bolt from the alter (again) from the one person she should probably be with, she tries to figure out how she likes her eggs.
It turns out, she has always deferred to her current beau’s choice.
I don’t know why, but the other day I realized I don’t really know how I like my eggs. And while I may not do what my partner’s does, or what previous boyfriends did, I still felt unsure.
I feel like this is intertwined with so many other things I haven’t identified as things I truly like or prefer or could name as favorites. That or my choices are heavily influenced by someone else’s opinions.
Maybe I’m in the minority here, but sometimes I only THINK I know what I like.
I also wonder if I never asked myself these questions because I was too busy needing someone else to validate my existence (read: MEN.) It never occurred to me that I could cultivate a sense of self without the acceptance and applaud of a partner.
It feels like a part of my missing feminism was not taking the time to get to know myself.
In a way, it probably seems sad that it took being in a loving, supportive relationship to finally think about my wants and needs outside of this partnership. That not fearing I will do something to make this person leave me is powerful.
When you have such little time to yourself, you’re not about to waste it on bullshit.
I’m figuring out what I need to feel content, satisfied and fulfilled. I’m straying away from the idea of happiness because I think it’s misleading and unrealistic.
There’s also a balance in maintaining friendships while also listening to the person inside who reminds me that alone time is important and should be a priority.
It turns out I like my eggs many different ways and it’s dependent on mood. I don’t have to choose one and I definitely don’t have to base my decision on someone else’s.